Sunday, February 21, 2010

Chapter Two, yo!

“I’m only gonna tell you one time, lady,” one of the zombies (clearly the leader, as she stood front and centre of the crowd. Also, she wore a crown that said “Head Shawty”) said to Julia, who was now in front of all the guests, “you are my least favourite girl right now. JB stands for Bieber, because he is hawt. Ya heard? And we are his shawties here to eliminate all Jonas Sisters fans.”

That was when Frankie started shouting, though he didn’t get very far because a) he was gagged and b) one of the zombies had taken out a CD player and started playing Baby by Justin Bieber.

Amaazing Graaaace! How sweet the sound!” sang a timid girl who stood behind all the guests, trying to drown out the high-pitched, torturing noise. The rest of the guests joined in.

“Oh, great. You’re a bunch of Bieber zombies? Perfect,” Julia said sarcastically. “Well, what do you want?”

“Did you not listen? We want to eliminate you all. And we know that eliminating a Jonas will crush your souls more than actually killing you,” the leader explained.

“Well, you’re already slowly crushing my soul with that music.”

“YOU DO NOT MOCK OUR BIEBER!” the leader roared and charged forward with her sharpened pencil crayon. She brought the crayon up so that the point was resting on Julia’s neck. “Now, we can do this the hard way, or the less hard way, ya heard?”

“Fine.” As she said that, all the zombies, excluding the ones holding the logs and the leader, ran in and handcuffed all 200 of the guests with their ultra-sticky, unbreakable plastic strips (they had gotten the idea from the nappies they only stopped wearing the week before).

“Now it is time for the torture,” said the leader, rubbing her hands together, trying to look like an evil minion, but failing.

“Please, I beg you, don’t put the music louder.”

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Chaper One (and already sucking)

The party was going perfectly. It was the annual We Love Jonas party and this year the theme was All White. It was meant to be the Jonas party of the decade with a special guest surprise at the end. Frankie is always entertaining, thought Julia, who had planned the whole thing. Let’s just hope he gets here in time. She looked up at the clock again. He was due in ten minutes and they hadn’t heard a single word from him yet. Julia walked up to the bar and asked the barman for a Red Bull.

“Still no sign of him?” the red-headed man asked as he handed her her drink. She shook her head. “Well, he should be here soon.”

“Here’s hoping. You can’t have a friggin’ Jonas party without a Jonas, now can you?” Julia ran her fingers through her hair like she always did when she got nervous. The barman shrugged as she walked away to talk to Gi, her assistant.

“Any news, Gi?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Gi looked at her apologetically.

“Sorry, Julz. Nothing. I don’t know what to do. I’ve called his manager, his own phone, I even called Big Rob for crying out loud! No one is answering their phones. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologise. It’s not your fault they’re not picking up. Now stop worrying and enjoy the party.” Gi smiled, relieved. As she walked away, there was a loud thud from the front door. Julia had told security to lock the front door once all the guests were in and told Frankie to come round the back when he got there. There was another thud and then a shriek. WTH? Julia ran to the front door just as it was swung open. Standing outside the door was a horde of Zombies. There were at least 300 of them. They all had the same bucket haircut. They were all girls. They were all five feet tall. Some were holding thick logs. Tied to the thick logs were Frankie, Big Rob and Frankie’s manager.

“Well, shit.”

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NOTE: I dunno why, but everytime I press enter, it gives me what is usually a double enter. I apologise.